The day we met the 'little guy'

Posted in By beoma 4 comments

bukan aku nak bercerita sangat pasal apa yang terjadi dekat sesapa, i never meant to ask for public attention on my problem, remember that anyone can simply pass by and read it or you can just give a glance if youre accidentally dropped by here and you may close the tab immediately. it is my story for future me. however i cannot be more appreciating to those people who read it and gives concern. hail you guys.

so i rather say, hi Ammar, welcome back to musim lel.
this one story happened four days ago on wednesday. hari rabu. umi abah filled up the borang bercuti and abang aku had leave his job at terengganu and returns home.

we went to the hospital for my mri. all four of us and adik aku aliya sorang lagi.
we are a happy family, pagi tu tunggu appointment mak aku (yang coincidentally was at the same day of mine). all we do was making jokes and gelak gelak dekat tempat menunggu yang penuh dengan orang yang muka sakit and resah. bukan kami kurang ajar tak respek orang sakit. tapi adik aku ni sengal, she knows no way to shut up and be properly be seated. haha and abang aku pulak tak penat nak melayan perangai pelik adik aku ni so mak aku tak  habis habis tutup muka tergelak trying not to make a sound sebab segan ramai orang. sometime memang kami sengaja buat lawak bodoh something like that because its calming to make umi smile.

everything went well sampaila makcik aku a.k.a mok whose i told in prev post, is a staff at HUSM came and panggil aku untuk buat MRI. its a day of holding hands so tight because we felt so. aku peluk makcik aku all the way dia bawak aku pergi pusat radiologist, bertanya how am i doing, and how am i feeling. every answer no matter how i tried to calm her just make her teary.

canula inserted dekat radial left hand aku and i was looking to those faces. abang and adik aku keep making jokes and bergurau, trying to cheer up the atmosphere, umi aku monyok and quiter termenung walau kekadang tersenyum, abah never speak. but he is a smiler. thats the best he can do to put himself together. allah je tahu apa abah tengah rasa sekarang but how had i not wish for this day to come but aku redha.

mri went well tho my body felt so restless in that caving hole.45 minutes but it felt quite short sebab aku mengantuk and i may fell asleep sometime. the last 5 minutes after contrast injection was making me so restless sebab tk sabar nak habis. right after aku salin baju, a doctor came to me personally, without the presence of my family yet. she said something can be seen at my pituitary area. perhaps the galnd itself or something else being there.

and yeah. its happened. i was stumbled but i expected the mass to be there because no way i have these poor vision if its not the compression. trying to be cool aku relax and stay chill and say thanks. keluar dari bilik mri i saw umi and mok and a radiologist lain dekat luar explaining something and she seems proefessional. i approached them and one word i caught that time is 'sebesar 20 sen'. they must already know.

umi looked at me and i know she turned weak, badly weak internally but she stayed tough. i wanna go and hug her but i would turn her teary so i just smiled. mok grabbed my hand because we needed to go to opthal to get a date. at opthal in the crowd umi told adik and abang and abah aku pasal the mass.

she was at the verge of tears later than nothing can stop her from crying right after abang tapped her shoulder and said its gonna be ok, crying in the middle of crowd and hug abang aku standly still. not trying to make a sound.

and yeah. its happened.

stuffs happened. these little mass coming from no where. and popped up right under my brain, compressing my optic chiasm.

the next day we were confirmed its the pituitary itself. but its benign.
my lil sister actually took this pic when i was in the MRI room.